It’s not unusual at all for a caregiver to be handling life decisions for someone that didn’t treat the caregiver well in the past. If that describes your situation, then coping with those facts can be incredibly taxing on top of all the other caregiver responsibilities.
Let Go of Yesterday
This one isn’t necessarily easy to do, but try to just let go of what happened in the past. If you’re not able to let go of it completely, try creating a “box” in your mind and putting the bad relationship in that box. Mentally put the box on a shelf and try to go forward as best you can.
Try Building a Brand-new Relationship
It might also help to pretend that you’re meeting someone brand-new in your dealings with your aging adult. In fact, some things may have changed about your elderly family member from your dealings in the past. Look for those changes and do what you can to imagine that you and your senior are starting over from scratch.
Focus on Self-care
Self-care is always vital as a caregiver, but it’s even more important if you and your senior have a strained relationship. In fact, self-care needs to be where you spend the majority of your energy. The better care that you take of yourself the better you can care for your aging adult, even with the problems that still exist between you.
Check Your Attitude Often
If you’re having trouble maintaining any sort of positive attitude, that’s going to rub off on everyone around you, including your elderly family member. Make it a habit to consistently check the vibes you’re putting out there and adjust your mood when you notice it sliding. This one step can help you to avoid quite a few conflicts.
Get Help if You Need It
Make the time to seek out a counselor or a therapist that you can trust if you need some more help. There’s no gold star for fighting through this situation on your own, so having someone to talk to can give you tools you never thought to use. You might find that you only need counseling for a short period of time or you might find that it’s a more permanent situation while you’re a caregiver. Give yourself what you need, no matter which situation describes you.
By being a family caregiver for someone with whom you’ve had a painful relationship, you’re doing a really good thing. Try to give yourself credit for doing as much as you can with the situation you’ve been given. Being kind to yourself can help you to get through almost anything.
If you or an aging loved one is considering Senior Care in Hyde Park, OH, please contact the caring staff at Queen City Elder Care today. Serving Cincinnati and Surrounding Communities. Call Us Today (513) 510-4410.
Michele Vollmer is a visionary leader who is perpetually searching for ways to improve, so to remain at the leading edge of the home care industry.She has served in the healthcare industry since 1989, including pharmaceutical and home health sales, as well as hospice sales and sales management.
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